The Things Nobody Tells You

The Things Nobody Tells You

Everybody, to some extent, understands that life just isn’t always easy. We expect to come across things that will be hard, maybe even devastating: the loss of someone we love, a breakup or losing job. We expect hardship, although we expect it to come from the events in life that happen when we least expect them. We expect that these things will just happen without warning – What nobody tells you, is that often it is the things that we know are coming, the things we plan, that everybody goes through that are the hardest – and of course we aren’t expecting it.

Recently, I moved out. I am 24 – Definitely didn’t flee the nest prematurely. I let things take their natural course and chose a time that felt right. Of course my possession date came much quicker than I was ready for and before I knew it I was trying to fill wall space with the three pieces of art work I had collected over my youth.

Growing up I knew that someday I would move out. Someday, I would have a place of my own. I had fantasized about my independent life, cooking meals, decorating to my hearts content, coming home when I wanted, not having to answer to anyone, and having the greedy satisfaction of having something all to myself. I knew that this was one of those life experiences I would inevitably have and had embraced its coming with enthusiasm.

In the first week of living on my own, I woke up in my room (that didn’t feel like my room at all) and had a panic attack. Suddenly, I was coming to terms with the fact that I was all on my own. Instead of feeling the sense of overwhelming euphoria towards my new found freedom, I felt paralyzed by my solitary condition. I was on my own – independent – and that meant coming to terms with the end of my childhood and the fact that ‘I was never going home again’.

Everybody moves out. People get married, have children, raise children and retire. These are the things that people talk about in passing – That nobody has to explain or justify why we do them – we just do. We talk about these events in our lives as the inevitable progressions of life. When you say you’re going to move out, nobody says “Oh, you poor thing”.

Because everyone goes through these things we don’t expect them to be hard, but the fact is, these are the major transitions of our lives and just because everyone experiences them, doesn’t make it any more familiar to you. When we experience these things for the first time, sometimes (most times) we are faced with a reality that we weren’t expecting. If everyone goes through it, why does no body tell you?